


My Neighbour the Big Idiot

by bigasscutie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Couch Sex, Crack, Crazy adorable Hanji, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I swear this shit is funny, M/M, Mostly at the end of it at least, Neighbours AU, Weird animals, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:52:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3595302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigasscutie/pseuds/bigasscutie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Jesus, let’s go. Come on.” He abruptly takes the broom off Erwin’s hands and guides them towards the kitchen, but then something happens. The rat.   </p><p>“OH FUCK! Oh my god, what even is that thing?!” Levi literally screams in terror, starting to jump on the spot like a scared school little boy, along with Erwin still very high-pitched yelling in the background, when a big, grey and black rat runs in front of them.<br/>Erwin’s description of it wasn’t even near the real thing. The rat is mangy and scruffy, seriously huge, as a fat rabbit or even more, its eyes red and homicidal, claws long as Levi’s fingers and worryingly, terrible teeth coming out of its not-very-cute muzzle. It’s also very fast and looks so dirty and ill that Levi has to contain himself from having a severe panic attack. </p><p>---<br/>Based on the prompt "I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/cockroach/snake AU". Basically they are just big, old dorks having a lot of sex and getting angry at Hanji's mad experiments. Give it a try, and enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Neighbour the Big Idiot

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Then silence.

 

“Fucking hell, what was that?” Levi’s heart skips a beat as he gets startled by a high-pitched scream in the middle of the night. He’s not really sure where it’s coming from, but he could swear it seems like it’s coming from the apartment above his own. Usually, he wouldn’t check on something like this, and in fact he doesn’t, until he hears it again. And then again. Tired as he is after a terrible day at work, he decides that getting worried is the only option he has left.

 

He has some doubts at first. When he finally is sure that the yelling is coming from upstairs he’s not sure of what to think. He knows who lives there.

Erwin fucking Smith.

He knows it even too well because, even though the two of them never really became friends, they surely did become good acquaintances. During the years they got used to a slightly awkward routine in the morning when they would always meet in the stairs, or in the elevator, and greet each other like ordinary, polite people would do. Seems pretty normal, right? Well it isn’t, not for Levi. It’s a never ending nightmare for him. Levi hates Erwin Smith. He hates him and he hates his dumb, unbelievably pretty face, the way he smirks at him all dressed up for work as a classy, pretentious businessman, _arrogant prick,_  hates his stupid big blue eyes and his perfect gold hair. He hates him so much he’s had a crush on him since he can recall, but obviously he never even dreamed about telling him. Tch, Levi’s not like this, he doesn’t get crushes on old, handsome men. Or so he convinces himself.

 

Despite his hidden feelings, he can’t help but thinking that something might be very wrong. But still, the acute, alarming yell doesn’t sound like a very mainly one and so he jumps to the worst conclusions. Maybe Erwin has a lady with him (god, Levi hopes not) and a burglar, or worse a killer, came right into the house threatening them and then started to hit her, or him. Maybe the very same Erwin is the one hurting her. Fuck, Levi can’t just let that go unnoticed. And why isn’t anyone else acknowledging it? When he hears another scream and a hard bump over his head he steps forward and decides to go see by himself, not even caring about the fact that he’d rather stay home, take a bath and go straight to sleep.

 

\---

 

Levi knocks once. Then twice. Then he just starts frantically knocking at Erwin’s door, obviously not thrilled by the fact that no one is answering him, and that suddenly is all very quiet. _Fucking hell,_ he thinks, pretty sure that he hasn’t got it wrong and that that’s the right apartment. He keeps knocking then.

“Hey!” He shouts out, in search of a reply or a sign. “Hey, are you in there. Are you all right?” He calls out, when he finally hears something coming from inside. A voice, an answer.

“Yes.” It’s Erwin. Levi sighs in relief, still a bit scared by his own assumptions though. At least _he_ is all right.

“Are you sure? I heard someone screaming and I got worried. Do you need a hand with something?” Levi offers, mostly because now that he’s here he doesn’t even know what to say. So embarrassing.

“No. I’m sure, I’m fine. Don’t worry!” Erwin doesn’t sound too sure himself, his voice shaking a bit in clumsiness.

“Are you sure?” Levi doesn’t trust him.

“Yes. Thank you very much but you can go home now… Um… who is it again?” Levi brings a palm over his face and suddenly feels so very stupid. Erwin doesn’t even recognize him. Of course he doesn’t, it’s not like they talk that much, he has every right to not know the sound of his voice. Levi feels so mortified he almost leaves without saying anything, still in time to save his reputation.

“Ahem, sorry. Yeah. It’s Levi.”

“Levi?” Erwin still doesn’t recognize him, and that’s terrible because Levi’s sure he already introduced himself, at least once. Fuck.  

“I’m your neighbour. My apartment is just below yours.” He hesitates. “We always meet in the morning, you know.”  

 

“Oh. Yes, Levi! Of course. I am so, so sorry.” Thank god he gets it now.

“So do you need-” Levi’s about to offer his help once more when suddenly he’s interrupted by yet another, slightly strangled now, scream. He also hears the bumping sound once more. _Oh, fuck it._  
“Smith, I don’t know what you’re doing in there but I’m coming in!” He warns him, before bursting the door wide open with a jerk, pretty sure that the sight in front of him is certainly everything but what he was actually expecting to see.

“What?” He mutters, probably too low for the other man to hear him loud and clear.

 

Erwin, his Erwin, the one who always looks like an arrogant, self-confident bastard, gifted with the smile of a corrupted angel, able to make Levi’s knees feel weak while in his presence, that Erwin Smith is now awkwardly crouched up on an evidently too small of a chair, with a broom in his hands, dressed in… what it seems to be like his pyjamas. A big pair of loose trousers and a white, tight shirt which, unluckily for Levi’s guts, is showing a very attractive part of his well-shaped chest.

He suddenly turns his head towards Levi looking like, despite everything, a small, scared child who just lost his mother and doesn’t understand what’s happening and why is the world so cruel. His thick, blond eyebrows frown in discomfort and worry, while he keeps holding tightly onto his beloved broom.

 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Levi almost laughs, his mouth definitely turning up into a smug and amused grin. He swears that’s not the man he has a crush on. He can’t be. That’s just a big, old dork.

After a confused pause Erwin yells again, at him this time. “Close the goddamn door!” And Levi obeys, surprised, like a good puppy, as if the commanding tone Erwin has just used on him is actually controlling him.

“Okay, okay big boy. It’s closed now.” He starts pacing toward him, arriving in his messy, big living-room, still giggling inside. “Happy?”

“Thanks.” Erwin exhales in relief, his expression calmer now. Tired, defeated. Still not daring to come down off the chair.

“Care to explain?” Levi involuntarily pats his back, as an old friend would. Erwin looks up, or rather down, at him and after a second of amusing perplexity he speaks.

“There’s a rat.”

“What?”

“A rat. In this house. On the loose.”  

“Are you joking?” Levi doesn’t seem so scared as the big blond, instead he just wonders for a moment. “And they told me this building was safe and clean. Unbelievable.” After a light puff, he smiles again, as much as he’s able to anyway, probably making Erwin a bit uncomfortable.

“You can go home, seriously.”

“Nah. This is much better than sleeping anyway.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Man, you look ridiculous like this. What should I even do?”

“Hey!” Erwin’s pride is tumbling down into the pits of hell as Levi looks at him with his silver, unperturbed eyes, which are now showing a glint of curiosity. “You don’t understand.” The big man shakes his head to finally place it against the stick of the broom and let it fall down, closing his eyes and sighing. Also exposing his bare nape, making him gulp silently.

 

“What is it? It’s just a rat dude, come on.”

“It’s not, though. It’s not like a normal rat, it’s huge! And it has red eyes, and sharp teeth. It’s not just a rat.”

“What? Is it like, I don’t know, a fucking alien rat then? Is that the reason why you have been screaming like a little, pathetic girl all this time? Come on, I can’t believe that. Get a grip on yourself.”

Erwin tilts his head up, and his eyes are full of offended pride and rage now, a darkening blue taking control of them. They make Levi freeze for a moment. “Well, excuse me if I sound rude, but seriously, I thought it was a woman screaming…”  Levi tries to justify himself, still not believing the other man.

 

“Let’s make a deal here.” He finally proposes.

“Mh?” Erwin asks, not even caring anymore.

“You leave that chair and stop screaming, and I’ll see what I can do to help you catch that rat. Is that okay?”

Erwin looks at him, piercing through him with his eyes, and then smiles at him, the same kind of sneer he usually throws at him in the mornings, which makes Levi’s stomach turn and his mind cloudy. Levi turns his head immediately, to avoid the well-known stare he hates so much, and waits for an answer.

“Well, you did actually always reminded me of a cat, being small and all. Feel free to try and catch it, if you want. But I did warn you.” As soon as he finishes he feels a little, but very strong hand hitting the back of his head. “Ouch!”

“Don’t you fucking dare call me small ever again, or I promise I will tell everyone how much of a scared, little pussy you are in front of a damn rat. A _big_ man like you.” Levi states, his voice without emotions. “And of course I will catch it. Just you wait and see.”

Erwin strokes the back of his head with his own hand, massaging where Levi’s hand hit him and then hesitantly comes off the chair, standing there in front of Levi now, completely overwhelming him with his tall, imposing body. He smiles again, but now it’s more like an apology, and it’s so sincere that Levi feels his cheeks warming up as he looks up at him.

 

“Jesus, let’s go. Come on.” He abruptly takes the broom off Erwin’s hands and guides them towards the kitchen, but then something happens. The rat.   

                                    

“OH FUCK! Oh my god, _what even is that thing_?!” Levi literally screams in terror, starting to jump on the spot like a scared school little boy, along with Erwin still very high-pitched yelling in the background, when a big, grey and black rat runs in front of them.

Erwin’s description of it wasn’t even near the real thing. The rat is mangy and scruffy, seriously huge, as a fat rabbit or even more, its eyes red and homicidal, claws long as Levi’s fingers and worryingly, terrible teeth coming out of its not-very-cute muzzle. It’s also very fast and looks so dirty and ill that Levi has to contain himself from having a severe panic attack.

 

“I told you so!” Erwin replies, screeching out irrationally as he rushes over the sofa and jumps right on it standing.

“Get it! Oh my God, get it!”

“No you get it!” They both shout high and terrified.

Levi notices that he’s all alone in the middle of the room when he turns towards Erwin and finds him on the sofa, pressed against the wall behind it. He follows him quickly, terrified by the freaky animal.

 

“Oh, no. No, fuck you, you don’t get to do that. You’re not leaving me alone with _that!_ ” He’s about to get on the sofa too, but doesn’t really have the time to do it on his own, as he literally gets tugged in by a strong arm with an urgent jerk.

“It’s here. Hurry!” Erwin shouts as he drags Levi with him, and suddenly, these two incredible dumb old men, find themselves screaming like little girls, clinging to each other as they watch the rat running all over the floor. They wrap their arms around each other tightly for a long time, not even noticing it, as they watch the weird creature’s movements, until they lose sight of it. Levi starts feeling a strange, pleasant, warmth embracing him and a soft body against his. He realizes they’re hugging, somehow, and pulls away quickly, too much quickly because they lose balance for a second and Erwin almost falls. Levi saves him by pulling him back, taking his arm, and then turns his flushed face away, not even daring looking anywhere near Erwin.

 

He recovers his breath, and then speaks. “Good god, that actually was a motherfucking alien rat.”

“See? I wasn’t lying.” Erwin punches him lightly on the arm.

“Yeah well, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. It’s hard to do that when you’re dressed like this, with a broom in your hands, you know.” Levi rubs his hand over the spot Erwin has just punched him, covering his sorry expression with his hair. He’s ready to go home, leaving knowing that he won’t have the guts to ever face the man again, when suddenly he’s startled by a loud, hearty laugh. He turns to see a bent over Erwin who just can’t stop laughing, lighting up the room with his stupidly beautiful grin. Levi has to actually wait for a while before he stops laughing, standing upright again, as he dries off the tears from his eyes and exhales deeply.

 

“Your face was priceless though. You should have seen yourself.” Levi eyes open wide at the words looking right at him, and after a rush of pure indignation, he hides his face again, muttering a couple of insults that, luckily, Erwin doesn’t catch.

“Oh come on. I’m just kidding.” Erwin gently puts a hand over Levi’s back, comforting him. “What does that even mean, anyway?” He asks confused, as he takes his arm back.

“What means what?” Levi grumbles, still too focused on the delightful, unexpected touch that just left him to understand what he’s asking. A couple of minutes ago Erwin was just an annoying, occasional fantasy for him, and now here they were after a weird, long lasting hug, sharing familiar gestures, and yes, hunting mice.

“Dressed like this? I mean, I get the broom, but what’s wrong with my home clothes?” Erwin’s voice sounds almost sad, as he looks down observing his pyjamas.

 

Levi makes the mistake to look up at him. Erwin’s moved his stare from his own body to Levi’s wide eyes, making him crazy with an adorable, puppy face that’s coming out of nothing. _Oh god, marry me._ Levi thinks to himself, cursing his own crazy thoughts and himself for finding him so cute. _WHAT?_

“You know, all casual and shit, without your pretty, expensive suits. Who cares about your damn clothes anyway?”

“Are you always this nice to people?” Erwin giggles, his blue eyes lighting up.

“Oh please, swipe that ugly ass smile off your face. We need a plan.”

“Oh, do we now?”

“Yes, Mr. I-am-so-kind-and-perfect.”

“Well, thank you.” He even has the nerve to take Levi’s words as a compliment. _Shithead._ “So what do we do, captain?” Erwin jokes, even though the teasing way he says the last word sends shivers down Levi’s spine.

“Do you work tomorrow?” Levi tries to think of a plan, rather than imagining things that aren’t there, like Erwin flirting with him, in the strangest way of all.

“Mh?”

“I said, do you have work tomorrow? Like, do you need to wake up early and shit?”

“Actually, yes I do. It’s only Tuesday tomorrow. Don’t you have work?”

“Well, yes.” Stupid Levi, why does he ask such dumb, obvious questions?

“Okay, well I don’t care. That animal is far scarier than any possible scolding from your boss.”

Erwin grin gets wider. “I don’t think so.”

“Shut up. I know that monstrous thing scares the shit out of you, don’t even try and deny it. Your boss can’t possibly be that bad.” Levi challenges him with his stubborn stare.

 

“Levi, _I am_ the boss.” Erwin’s voice drops a whole octave while he claims his position to Levi, slightly sneering, eating the little man alive, with his predatory eyes, for what it seems like eternity, drying Levi’s throat completely as he looks up at him, mesmerized by his moving lips. _STOP IT, MAN._ Levi’s mind shouts at him as he keeps staring, and just when he’s about to move his own hand to reach for Erwin, he remembers where he is, and most of all why, because of a high screech coming from another, far away, room. The rat. He wakes up, and takes action.

 

“Well then, _boss,_ you need to take whatever shit you need, and come down with me.” Levi clears his throat. He doesn’t even know if he’s more scared by the rat now, or by the far too flawless man in front of him, which seriously intimidates him a lot.

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah. We’re going to my place. We can’t think of a plan in here. We actually can’t do anything here, on this sofa.”

“We could do something else on this sofa.” Erwin lets the words slip from his mouth, not really aware of the effect they have on Levi as soon as he hears them, no matter how much of a joking tone there is in them. They arrive at his ears loud and clear, and crush him. _Jesus Christ he didn’t just say that._

Levi raises his eyebrows in deep disbelief and surprise.

“Are you shitting me?”

Erwin’s cackle echoes in the room, as the big man actually stretches his arm out to gently, again, patting Levi’s back. This time staying there a bit longer, carefully brushing his long fingers against him until the last second. “I’m joking, relax.” He actually gets off the sofa with an agile jump and lands on the floor, so confidently he doesn’t even look like the screaming man Levi’s seen a few minutes ago.

“I’m going to get my stuff.” Erwin actually winks at him as he heads towards his bedroom.

“Please stop.” Levi murmurs to himself, and to Erwin, aware he can’t hear him. _Embarrassing fucker._

 

“Jesus Erwin, watch out!” Levi screams, suddenly distracted by a grey, big furry thing running on the floor. The rat is actually following Erwin, making him jump when he feels it very close. It’s all very quick, but the animal passes through Erwin’s legs like a flash and makes him trip over himself, causing a serious mess while falling, and hit his forehead against the corner of a closet right at the entrance of the bedroom, getting him on his knees.

“Holy fuck.” Levi exclaims, rushing to Erwin without caring about the rat all, too much worried by the sight of blood leaking from Erwin. “Are you okay?” He squats down in front of him, taking Erwin’s hands off his own face and holding onto his wrists to stop him from touching his own wound.

“That fucking alien shit.” He curses as he moves his hands to grab his head and tilts it towards him, to get a better look inspecting the not-too-deep cut, but still very much bleeding.   

 

Erwin groans under his heedless touch, squeezing his eyes hard before opening them again to find out that Levi is, in fact, actually worried about him. His eyes are telling him that anyway, even though he keeps muttering something about Erwin being too much trouble already. The blond smiles sweetly, under an apparent grimace caused by the pain, noticing the fact that Levi’s touching all over the wound without even caring about how much it could hurt him, as if he was invincible. He probably believes that, Erwin thinks, before stopping him.

 

 

“Ahem.”

“What is it? We need to go.” Levi shoots back quickly, still looking at his wound. Erwin grasps his thin arm and blocks him completely, forcing him to look at him in the eyes.

“I don’t mean to alarm you, but…” Levi tries to free himself, but the other is too strong, and too focused on something else entirely.

“It’s behind you.”

“What.”

“The- the rat. It’s here.” When Levi tries to turn his back to see it Erwin stops him half-way. “No! Don’t look. Don’t. Move.”

“How near is it?”

“Well…”

“How near?!” Panic in his voice. _That dirty little shit better stay away from me._

“It’s right behind you. Like, very near.”

“Oh, hell.” Levi curses. “How am I supposed to stay put now?” He wants to run away, as quickly as he can; he feels stupid for being so terrified, but the rat does look scary and it probably is dangerous too, capable of transmitting him hundreds of diseases with just one bite. And Levi can’t stand it.

 

“Look at me.” Erwin’s authoritative attitude suddenly comes back, with a pinch of concern and tenderness too. “Just look at me, and don’t move.”

Levi swallows and turns his head completely to face Erwin’s beautiful, blue eyes, which are now smiling at him in reassurance. He keeps still, doesn’t move a muscle and tries to address all of his concentration on him, studying every single part of his face, finding himself incredibly happy as he does so, realizing he finally has the possibility to actually look at him and confirm all of his theories about his detestable perfection. _How does he even do that?_

 

Never breaking the eye contact, Levi can’t help but at least breaking the silence between them. “I swear to god, if that thing comes anywhere too much near me and touch me, I am going to fucking kill it. And then I am going to kill you for bringing me up here.” _How nice, Levi, you certainly know how to seduce someone._ Levi doesn’t really want to be so impolite, but he’s never been one for good manners and the situation isn’t really one of the bests. Still, his few chances with Erwin probably have already faded away with tonight, so who cares. 

 

“I didn’t bring you up here.”

“Your girly screams did, yeah, sorry for trying to save your virility.” Erwin just laughs at that.

 

“Are you really sure you’re the same businessman I see every day, all serious and sober? The boss of wherever is it that you work at?” Levi asks, not able to contain himself anymore.

“Serious and sober?” Erwin’s eyes look down thoughtful for a moment, and then glare back up. “Is that how people see me?”

 _Well, I see you naked holding me against a wall while fucking me hard too, if that’s what you mean._ Levi thinks by himself, holding out a sneaky snigger, and instead starting to blush under Erwin’s persistent eyes.

“I don’t know. Who cares.” Erwin raises an eyebrow, not convinced at all.

“I am sure, anyway.”

“Yeah? Because you laugh way too much for being _him._ ”

“I’m sure I’m the same person. This is just… unexpected. Plus, I have every right to laugh whenever I like, you know.” Erwin’s actually trying to compose himself, to make himself seem more like an important person, as he looks like during the day, rather than a screaming, child-like, injured one in his pyjamas.  

“Sure, as you say big boy.”

“You’re lucky I’m not _your_ boss.”

“Um, and why’s that?” Why not teasing the man just a bit, Levi thinks.

“Well, for starters you would never get to swear that much in my presence, and certainly you would never call me names like that, without serious consequences.”

“I’m getting all curious here.” He’s not sure if he’s joking or not, but playing along is fun.

“Maybe you’ll see.” Erwin’s voice keeps confusing Levi, as it goes from being childish and nervous to very determined, to again completely tense. And yes, this is unexpected for him.

 

Levi raises his eyebrows once more, wondering if Erwin is messing around with him on purpose or not. He’s never noticed any sign of interest from him, and now suddenly he’s teasing him like this, like a naughty old bastard, and it pisses him off. Deeply. _Who do you even think you are, we barely know each other. Tch._ He can’t  help but smirk a little though, as Erwin’s grip squeezes around his arm, moving just so very slightly, brushing against his pale skin.

 

“I know I’m not your boss, but Levi, I need you to do something for me.” Erwin asks, with his creamy, profound voice, making Levi shiver.

“If it doesn’t involve kicking your ass for being so damn charming in a time like this… I’m not sure I’m ready to do anything at all.” Levi mumbles the first sentence in a whisper, letting Erwin know only of his impossibility to move. And thank god, Erwin lets that pass unnoticed, even though Levi’s not sure he hasn’t heard entirely, as his ears get all red.

“You see that case, on the bed?”

“Yes.” Levi stretches his head to look over Erwin, spotting the object on a very big, comfortable bed.

“I need that. Just that, don’t mind the rest. Do you think you could fetch it for me?”

“What the fuck, are you blind or something? That thing is still behind me. Ready to attack anytime probably. We shouldn’t even be breathing right now, I can’t just go on a romantic little walk with your case under my arm. Forget it.” Levi bites in response, shocked by the proposal.

“Um, I don’t think that’s the case. It seems pretty calm now. Even though it’s pretty close. I can’t see it too clearly.”

“Is it? What’s it doing?”

“Eating something, I think.” Levi turns his head slowly, to look at the animal, and he sees it. Levi’s eyes open so widely as he observes the scene. The rat is undisturbed, crunching the rim of his trousers, which have always been a bit too large for his skinny ankles. As soon as he realizes what’s going on Levi screams just one more time, getting up with a jerk, now sounding like a real silly girl, startling the animal.

 

“That’s enough!” His high-pitched yells make Erwin laugh, despite the wound and the still evident fear, but he’s soon stopped because Levi literally drags him away with him, making him stand up and grasping him by his arm, making him follow where he goes.

He acts quickly towards the bed, he fetches the case and then runs away all the way through the apartment, always holding onto Erwin’s arm. With a funny series of groans and short screams they find themselves running through the stairs of the building and then directly crushing into Levi’s apartment below, guided by the illogical surge of adrenaline.

 

They end up panting against Levi’s closed door, now hand in hand, which is something that happened probably during the rush of the escape. They stay there for a while, to calm their pumping hearts, and then they start laughing hysterically, not able to contain themselves. _What a stupid, shitty situation._ Levi thinks as he keeps giggling. He normally never laughs, and even though it’s not for a very amusing reason, it feels very good. Erwin makes him feel very good, no matter how much of strangers they actually are, as if they might have known each other in another life where they might have been something like best friends or soul mates, who knows, probably both.

 

Smooth fingers tighten around his own then, and Levi notices that they’re holding hands.

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He withdraws rapidly, leaving Erwin slightly confused and… disappointed? _What? Did he squeeze on purpose? Shut up._

“I hope your thing here was worth it.” Without really meaning to hurt Erwin, Levi casts the case on his chest, starting to pace towards his own bedroom without looking back, leaving the big man startled, with the object held in his hands clumsily.

“I need it for work…” As a sad child Erwin takes a good grip on his case and goes to place it on a table, mumbling his defeated words.

 

“Are you coming or not?” Levi shouts from his bedroom. Erwin frowns deeply, but still enters the room. He can notice how clean everything is, perfectly in order, almost maniacally. Levi’s not in the room, fumbling angrily in the bathroom connected with the place. While Erwin is still observing things around, he flinches as he hears Levi coming from behind silently.

“Take off your shirt.” Levi’s so neutral, it’s scary.

“Already so eager?” Erwin jokes around, smiling dangerously, trying to break the sudden tension and the inevitable, hidden turning of his stomach at the request. Trying to stay charming as always. “Isn’t that a bit early, Levi?” The way he says his name, it makes Levi knees go weak for a second -as if that was actually so unusual-  while his face flushes deeply, in embarrassment. _This idiot can’t be serious._ He thinks that as he watches him slowly, deliciously taking his shirt off, enjoying it a bit too much _._

 

At that, Levi rudely, out of nothing, pushes Erwin making him fall over the edge of his bed. Without any kind of warning he takes a sit on his robust, well-defined thighs, supporting himself with a hand gripped around Erwin’s strong, very naked shoulder, showing him something with the other one. A little box, a first-aid kit, equipped of needle, thread and everything else. Erwin hates needles, and he immediately understands that’s what Levi’s going to use on him, to close his forehead’s wound. Damn rat, he thinks, even though he finds it particularly pleasant, having Levi seated on his lap like this.

Not saying a word Levi opens the little case and takes everything he needs out, surely amused when he sees the panic in Erwin’s eyes as he holds the needle in his hands.

“Is _this_ early enough for you?” He teases him, making the sharp object rotate in his fingers. Erwin gasps, as Levi pinches him once on his chest with it. Then he places it on the bed, replacing it with a cloth and a bottle of disinfectant, and gives Erwin a reassuring enough smile. “Don’t worry old man, I’m not going to use that right away.”

 

“Look at all this blood. Does it ever stop?” He notices.

“Oh.” Erwin throws a glance over his shirt on the bed, stained with blood all over. He understands now why Levi has told him to take it off. “Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“The mess, I guess.”

“It’s your own clothes and body, not mine.” Levi says sharply, though he gently cleans the blood off Erwin’s forehead and presses the disinfected cloth against his injure, now going more carefully than the way he treated it back at Erwin’s apartment.

 

“You know what? The wound is fine. There’s no need to do anything else.” Erwin swallows hard when Levi takes the needle and the thread, ready to close his skin tight and safely.

“Ah-ah” He ignores Erwin’s childish protests. He’s not going to leave him like this, bleeding on his bed. Struggling a bit on his knees he gets ready to go. At least he knows how to do this, thanks to his work.

“Seriously, Levi. You have done more than enog-” He jumps when the cold metal penetrates his skin. “Shit, that hurt.” He grabs Levi’s arms, to stop him, but despite his little stature, Levi’s stronger than what he seems. He frees himself, and sneers up at the man, cruelly entertained.

“Watch your language.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“Yeah. I kinda figured that. But seriously, Levi, that hurt.” Levi doesn’t know what it is that makes the whole situation so natural and familiar, as if it was a normal thing for him to sit on Erwin’s lap and clean him up as if he were an old, incompetent, but still very lovely man whom he had to take care of, mostly because of love and concern rather than just commitment. He doesn’t know what is it, but it feels just like that. And it takes advantage of it.

 

“Come on, I can’t believe a big, handsome man like you can’t take a bit of pain like this. Kids at work behave better than you, you know?”

“Mh. I still don’t understand if you’re trying to make fun of me, or flattering me, you know.” Erwin places his big hands on Levi’s thighs as he says this, grinning up at him, starting to caress them almost seductively. Levi completely red and shocked. As in response, he catches his breath and sews another stitch, going through his skin strikingly, but it doesn’t do any good. Erwin snorts annoyed by the pain and tightens his grip on Levi’s legs, making him feel so completely aware of the warm touch, and he almost falls forward by the surprise and thrill. _Who’s being a child now? Levi come on._

“Please, stop moving. You know this thing could blind you in a second.” Levi tries to escape the situation by changing the subject, but he still feels awkward and mortified.

 

“But I’m already blinded by your fascinating beauty, my dear.” Erwin is so obviously joking. Anyone could tell by the amused, yet charismatic, tone of his voice, trying to imitate a shitty line from a romantic, chick-flick movie; still Levi freezes and blinks a couple of time, watching him astounded. He almost believes him, struck in wonder and fascination, he almost raises a hand up to touch his cheek to lean forward in a kiss, almost.

As he regains consciousness he moves quickly away from him, standing. Without saying a word, he finishes his sewing work in less than 10 seconds, so quickly Erwin doesn’t even have the time to really suffer from any kind of pain at all. Leaving the shirtless man alone, confused and inflexible, wondering what’s he done wrong, Levi rushes towards his bathroom and slams the door behind him, leaning over it and sighing deeply. _This is getting out of hand. Seriously, all for a stupid rat._ He is so stupidly infatuated by him, he doesn’t even recognizes himself anymore.

 

“Do you mind if I borrow a shirt?” Erwin calls out, startling him a bit.

“Um. Yes sure.” He replies quickly. “Do you mind if I take a shower in the mean time?”

“Of course, take your time. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Good. Thanks. I’ll be right there.”

 

\---

 

Levi comes out of the bathroom after something like thirty minutes, a rush of thoughts and embarrassment running through his mind, but still trying to relax himself. He decides he’s had enough when he keeps hearing Erwin making weird noises in his own bedroom.

He realizes it then, he hasn’t brought a change with him. He has to go out with his towel wrapped around his waist. _Well shit, at least I hope he’s going to enjoy this._ He opens the door and ruffles his wet hair one more time, before stopping in shock.

 

“What.” He inhales deeply. “Are you doing now?” He doesn’t yell, or makes a scene. Just watches Erwin with narrowed eyes that could kill, silently judging him as he observes the mess the big man made of his shirts and stuff, throwing his drawers open and disarranging every piece of clothing Levi had put lovingly in order. A hit of pure nausea hits his stomach, he can’t stand all this.

 

Erwin then takes a random shirt in his hands and stretches it widely, showing Levi how small it actually is. He giggles as he watches the expression on Levi’s face change -and as he takes a good look at his tiny, muscular body too- so annoyed by the sudden realization.

“Don’t fit.” Erwin chuckles, letting the shirt drop to keep looking for one in Levi’s open closet.

 

“Cover yourself.” Levi bites at him, throwing him a big, black hoodie, embarrassed in front of Erwin’s blatant nakedness, annoyed by his carelessness.

“You’re ridiculous.” As he speaks he puts on some pants, a pair of old trousers and a tight black shirt he usually uses for sleep, careful not to let the towel fall before he can do so. He knows Erwin is staring anyway. _Enjoy my ass while you can, jerk._

 

“This shirt’s size obviously is though.” Erwin replies as he wears the huge hoodie -even bigger than his actual size- and zips it up, rolling the sleeves up and leaving part of his chest in good sight, just for the sake of fun and satisfaction as he observes Levi’s slowly dying inside. “It can’t be yours.” He states calmly walking towards the kitchen’s table, where he evidently left some paperwork he was working on while Levi was taking his long shower.

 

“Such an amazing observing skill you have there.” Levi follows him. He frowns at the papers but lets it go for the moment, _always working, uh?_ ,  too busy pretending to clap at Erwin’s talent in a highly sarcastic gesture. Then he takes his sweet time glaring at how good Erwin actually looks in it, even though it shouldn’t produce such an effect, being such a casual outfit. He has an assailing instinct of just take it off him, but he has to resist. “That was my ex’s.”

“Mh?” Erwin raises his eyebrows in disbelief, sneering up. “You certainly have a specific taste in women.” He comments boldly. Levi just laughs at that, _think you’re so smooth, don’t you?_

 

“ _He_ was a six-foot-four tall attractive man, but yeah, I guess that could be interpreted as pretty specific too.”

“Is that your type then?”

Levi smiles to himself when memories of his ex boyfriend invade his mind. They didn’t end the relationship badly, remained friends, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still be very good-looking and appealing.

“What do you mean? Tall, charming and handsome? I guess it kinda is, yeah.” That also didn’t mean that it couldn’t be exactly like describing the man in front of him. “…and blond.” Levi finishes, remembering up to the very last particular of his ex-boyfriend, realizing as he talks of what he’s just said. His eyes flush open and go up right to meet Erwin’s delighted ones.

 

“Wow. Okay. If you say a fucking word I’m going to rip your tongue out.” Erwin grins, wickedly too. “You’re not even _that_ attractive.” Levi tries to justify himself, starting to take a quick look at the papers on the table, diverting his glare from Erwin to incomprehensible documents. He jumps and then freezes right away as he feels a hand playfully ruffling his still wet hair.

“Don’t worry. I tend to lie to myself too.” Erwin lets go of Levi and then sits heavily on the chair in front of him, ordering up all the papers and putting them away, while the tiny man stays still, frustration in his eyes. He grunts deeply and then takes a sit with him.

 

Levi puts his arms on the table and resignedly places his head in his own hands, completely splattering himself all over the surface. He looks like a tired child like this, turning his head slightly to look up at a straight seated, imperative Erwin, who’s looking at him with such sweet, fresh eyes; it melts Levi’s heart.

 

Having given up a bit, Levi starts speaking with a weaker, still cutting voice. “So, do you care to tell me how a goddamn titan rat even got into your house at a time like this?”

“Oh.” Erwin smiles, miming Levi’s gesture and finding himself down, face to face with him in the blink of an eye, dangerously, pleasantly close. Levi withdraws a bit, suddenly scared of the proximity of Erwin’s face, of his hot, tangy smell and his intense blue stare. “I might have an idea about that.”

“I’m ready to know your deepest, shitty secrets Smith. Shoot.”

 

“Well, you know, I have this friend, Hanji. She’s like a scientist, a mad scientist. She was at my place tonight, kept telling me she had something to show me. She never did show me anything though, and I thought she was just joking, or that she was overly excited. But now I guess we both know what she meant.”

“Strange friends you have.”

“You’d like her too though, she’s so intelligent and sharp. Also amazingly happy and ecstatic all the time. So full of life it’s scary. She’s a very lovely person.”

“Ugh. I hate happy people.” Erwin raises his eyebrows, making a pitying, sad face, remembering how the moody man had strongly pointed out how much he was smiling before. Levi sighs deeply, noticing the hint of offense in Erwin’s face. “Well, you know. It’s not that I hate happy people. It just annoys me when people never shut up about it. That’s all, and that’s how your friend sounds more likely to be. Sorry, I’m not that social and joyful.”

 

“Are you sad?” Erwin asks without any kind of filter.

“What the hell?”

“I don’t know, but there must be a reason for that. I mean…”

“I’m a doctor. I watch people die almost every die, I am sorry I am not that much of a happy person. I just can’t always see the brightest side of life.” He brings his head up, silently looking into the void for a while. Erwin patiently, respectfully quiet.

 

“Come on, let’s call your friend.” Levi cuts it out, swearing to never bring the subject up ever again. Even because the shit behind it all is so much deeper than it seems, he hasn’t even got the strength to think about it.

 

“Why?” Erwin stays down, exhausted, with eyes which, in the meantime, are deeply getting fond of the sight of Levi’s beautiful, pale, grumpy face and grey eyes.

“To ask her about the rat, idiot.”

“You know you should stop insulting me.” He answers as he eventually gets up to reach for his phone in his pocket. Yes, his home pants have pockets, and he’s a business man, he always has his phone with him.

“Tch. You can take it just fine.”

Erwin huffs amused, and dials the number. “Put it on speaker, when or if she picks up at all.” Levi says a second before a high, energetic voice answers on the other side of the line.

 

“ _Hello?!”_

“Hey, Hanji, it’s me. Erwin.” He’s already giggling at his friend’s hilarious tone.

“ _Ooh! Hi there! What’s up?”_ She sounds so casual and unaware of everything, Levi grumbles annoyed. _Like she doesn’t already know why he’s calling her._

“I was just calling you about, you know, well-” Erwin’s trying to be gentle about it, not wanting to insult her or upset her, knowing she’s very touchy when talking about her own experiments.

 

“What fuck is that thing that you dropped over Erwin’s apartment? More importantly what kind of crazy person are you to even owe, or create, I wouldn’t bloody know, such an insane monster? How are we even suppose to catch it?” Levi cuts right into the conversation, interrupting Erwin and taking the phone in his own hand, holding it close, angrily, against his mouth.

Then he looks up at Erwin. “Why are you even being so soft on her? Weren’t you screaming high enough before?” He snaps and then throws the phone on the table with a loud sigh. Only a powerful laugh coming from the object.

“ _We? Oh Erwin, you didn’t tell me you were supposed to have company tonight, I swear I would have left sooner.”_

“Um. No, that’s not really the case. Don’t worry about that.” Erwin actually blushes. _Oh, so you do feel embarrassment too,_ Levi evilly thinks, as he blushes too, despite everything. Erwin pats his nape awkwardly, giggling and frowning at Levi’s nervous expression.

“Just tell us what to do, whatever you name is.” Levi puffs quickly. His voice turning impatient.

“ _Can’t I at least know your name, mister? Since you’re being so kind to me.”_ She still doesn’t stop using her happy voice, but it’s evident she’s starting to get lightly annoyed by Levi’s behaviour.

“Why do you care?” It’s like Erwin isn’t even there anymore, honestly.

“ _Beeecause, I want to know why Erwin hangs out with such rude men, that’s all.”_

“What did you call me?” Levi can’t believe it, he’s getting insulted by a person he hasn’t even ever met in his life before, just like that. His eyes fly up to Erwin. “What did she just call me?”

Erwin only has the time to shrug, before Levi continues.

“I live below him. You don’t need to know anything more. Okay? So now pleas-”

“ _Oh my god! I am so so sorry.”_ Her voice speeds up in a moment and gets regretful as she speak, as if she had just greeted the wrong person in the middle of a peopled street. _“Erwin, why didn’t you tell me sooner who you were with?”_

“What?” Levi frowns, anger leaving him quickly to be replaced by utter confusion.

_“It’s Levi, isn’t it?”_ She asks excited. “ _I’m sorry I didn’t mean to reply like that, but you do sound a bit rude, you know.”_

“What the fuck is she talking about?” Levi stares fiercely at Erwin.

“Hanji, please.” The big man talks, palming his whole face with his hands, shaking his head, blond hair falling desperately on his forehead as he regrets ever telling anything to the woman.

“Hey, you. How do you even know my name?”

“ _You are Erwin’s pretty neighbour!_ ”

“What? Who are you even calling pretty…” Levi whispers this time. His mouth open as he panics, Erwin still trying to get the best out of the situation with an awkward smile and a sorry face.

“Erwin.” Levi regains consciousness. “Why does she know who I am? And my name?” He runs a couple of possibilities in his head, and all of them tell him that Erwin might have not be so distant and disinterested about him as he’s always thought. He blushes deeply, moving his glare away, coughing noisily. _I can’t believe this asshole._

 

“ _Oh, honey he always talks about you and how pretty you are! You’re his favourite person in that building so far. I think you’re his favourite person in general too,”_ She giggles loudly. “ _but honestly, that’s just my opinion. He always tells me of how much of a gentleman you are, always keeping the elevator door’s open for him, or how cute you are when you have your usual sleepy face on, or, well this is my personal favourite, how he hears you singing embarrassing old pop songs on the stairs while you think you’re all alone! I know you two don’t speak that much, but he really, really lik-”_

 _“_ Hanji, stop.” Erwin orders her, slamming his hand over the table strongly, generating a firm, commanding noise. “That’s about enough.”

 

Levi gulps and actually jumps on the chair, shutting up whatever thing he was going to say. Even Hanji is silent now, there is only the tired echoing of Erwin’s groan in the room.

“ _Um…”_ Hanji tries to break the awkward silent, uselessly.

“I’m sorry I’ve bothered you. Thank you anyway, Hanji. I guess I’ll figure out a way to catch the rat by myself. Don’t worry.” He hesitates. “I don’t know what might happen to it though.”

“ _Yes, well I do-”_

“I’m going to kill it.” Levi mutters to himself.

“Bye, Hanji. Sorry.” Erwin ends the call and then stays put for a while, eyes closed.

 

Levi wordlessly observes the beautiful man in front of him. He’s not blushing anymore, instead his cheeks have turned from delicate to stiff and his jaw is tight and sharp. His eyelids stay closed, making his thick blond eyebrows stand out, frowning menacingly. He’s tense, weary, mortified. His golden hair is still ruffled over his worried forehead, giving him the air of an old, irritable man with the spirit of a five years old. Levi’s stare drops from his eyes to his lips, closed in a tight line, and oh, how he wishes he could just kiss them, feeling them relaxed against him. He still feels a bit confused, embarrassed, about Erwin’s indirect confession, but he knows that if that had happened to him he’d be already crying in a corner, yelling at him to go away. So he pretends like nothing ever happened, almost never happened at least, and gets up.

 

“Do you want some coffee?” He offers him.

“No, thank you.” Erwin gets up too then, moving away from the table with his case in his hands. “I think I’m just going to go now.”

“What about the big mouse upstairs?” Levi looks at him, pleading him to stay in his mind.

“I’ll manage somehow. Don’t worry, there’s no need to anyway. I am a big man after all, you keep saying that at least.” He dejectedly smiles at Levi. “Besides, don’t you need to sleep?”

“How am I going to sleep with the big mess you’re surely gonna make up there, trying to handle that thing all alone?” He doesn’t smile right back at him, but his eyes strangely have the power to comfort him.

“I promise you, I will try not to make any noise at all.” He blinks and then turns around, in defeat. “See you, Levi.” _Good god, he doesn’t even have the balls to look at me. How fucking cute._

 

Levi takes a couple of quick steps and grabs Erwin’s arm, resolutely, feeling the contrast between his own cold hand against the pleasant warmth of the other’s soft skin. He gasps, at the impulsive touch.

“Don’t be stupid. I’m not going to let you face that thing alone. Besides _,_ it’s gotten personal now. I said I was going to help you, so now here I am. At your command, _boss._ ” _What am I saying?_

“You never actually said that you were going to help me.”

“Well, I implicated it though, didn’t I?”

“I guess you did.” Erwin suddenly grins his embarrassment away and takes a step forward, closing the distance between their highly different bodies. Levi swallows hard, but this time he doesn’t move away. Doesn’t even release his grip from his arm, just loosens it. With a brushy touch, he lets him know he’s welcomed there, and that he’s not willing to let him go, not right now.

“Let’s think of a way to catch that thing, all right?”

“Deal.”

“Good boy.” Levi smirks. _I have a crush on the biggest, most charming idiot living on this planet. Thank God for Erwin Smith._  

 

\---

 

“So, how do we catch a mutant rat?”  Levi crushes on his couch, spreading his little body all over it without caring about appearances, while Erwin sits on the little wooden table in front of it, slightly bending over.

“How would I know?”

“You look smart enough.” He stretches out his arms and closes his eyes, tired enough not to fall into the temptation of seeing Erwin’s smirk turning up at the compliment. “Aren’t you an important guy, or something? Important people should be smart enough to catch a mouse.”

“Well…” Erwin coughs once and raises his eyebrows. “I’m afraid I have no idea, since it’s not even a usual kind of mouse, you know.”

 

“Mh. You’re right.” Levi’s eyes stay closed, as he relaxes into the sofa even more. “What about a mouse trap?”

“I believe our guy is slightly more intelligent than that.”

“What do you mean intelligent? Is that thing really an animal at all?”

“Don’t underestimate Hanji.” Erwin sighs out while re-thinking about the phone call.

“What if we put a box with some food under it and then… you know, like they do it in animated cartoons. We pull a string and that’s it?”

“You mean like an improvised rabbit trap?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“We’re gonna need a heavy box though. And a big one.”

“I might have something like that in the kitchen.”

 

Levi’s voice becomes sleepier with time, which is somehow very attractive to Erwin, mumbling the words through his mouth, completely sinking into the softness of his beloved couch now. All the fatigue and stress of the day falling over him at once. Erwin notices how tired he is, but doesn’t say anything, enjoying the adorable sight. He has never seen Levi’s features loosening up so much and it’s nice, for once, knowing that his neighbour doesn’t only have his usual straight, almost scary face.

 

“What are we even going to put under it though?” Erwin says softly, placing his head between his hands, leaning on his elbows, like a small kid.

“Don’t know.” Levi yawns widely. “Cheese?”

“I don’t think it’s going to eat that.” Erwin admits, clearing his throat.

“Why not, smart guy?”

“Ahem. I tried it already.”

 

Levi’s eyes open for a moment, a curious smile on his quiet face. “Did you?”

“Actually, I threw some at it.”

“When?” Levi actually gives up. _He’s so dumb I can’t believe people dare calling him boss. Boss of what? Cuteness and stupidity?_ Levi tends to be a bit overly critic while sleepy, forgive him.

“When I was…” He pauses and looks down with an embarrassed smile. “On the chair. I was actually throwing cheese at it from it, hoping it would go away. It didn’t even notice, though.”

Levi just faintly laughs at that, Erwin’s cheeks turning bright pink as his pride crumbles at his feet, again.

“Jesus, you’re incredible.” Levi closes his eyes again and leans his head over the edge of the couch. “So what are we going to feed it?” Thankfully enough Levi drops the subject.  

“I might have an idea.”  

“Shoot.”

“You are not going to like it.”

“I’m ready, don’t worry.”

 

“Your trousers.” Levi frowns deeply, opening his eyes just enough to look at Erwin suspiciously.

“What?”

“Yeah. It seemed to like them before.” Erwin has to, at least, try.

“Out of the question.” Levi bites back.

“It’s the only thing we know it likes! It’s probably attracted to them anyway, to the smell or something.”

“Are you implying I smell like shit?”

“What? No. I didn’t mean that.”

“Sounds like it.” Levi loves to tease him like this.

“You have a nice smell. I like how you smell.” His voice goes soft, and then realizes what he’s just said. Levi raises an eyebrow. _Oh, do you?_ “And the rat does, or should, too.” He adds quickly to save himself from more embarrassment. _What._

 

There is an awkward silence filling up the room for a few seconds. Levi smirking and Erwin getting up to distract himself from the tiny man.

 

“Ahem. I’ll go look for the box now. You stay here” Levi hums in reply, letting him go, and then relaxes again, closing his eyes and this time completely curling himself on the couch.

 

When Erwin comes back Levi is basically already asleep. He places the big, iron box he found under the sink of the kitchen on the table and then goes to Levi’s room to come back with a blanket in his hands. He puts it kindly on Levi, who twitches slightly under it. Erwin’s heart gets warm at the sight. He yawns, finding himself very tired too. Without ulterior motives he sits next to Levi, far enough not to really touch him. He jumps a bit when Levi unconsciously puts his head over his shoulder, grunting. “Fine. Let’s use my pants.” Erwin’s not sure if he’s talking in his sleep or not, his voice muttering drowsily. Erwin grins, though, comforted by his kind, sleepy voice.

 

They fall asleep just like this. They keep each other warm, leaning over each other. Erwin snoring loudly and Levi drooling over his chest. They look like an old, terribly cute couple. All of that until Levi’s clock alarm rings loudly in the room at 5am, waking them up abruptly, making Levi completely fall over Erwin’s big, still half asleep body, surprised for the sudden sound.

“Holy shit. I’m sorry.”

“Mh?” Erwin mutters while still trying to wake up and regain consciousness. “Oh.” He laughs gently, running a hand through his gold, sleepy hair, blue eyes inspecting him with a sweet smile hidden inside them. Levi spread over him with a grumpy, shocked face, their legs weirdly intertwined. “Good morning.”

“Hi.” Levi’s chin weighs on Erwin’s chest as he says the single, bumbled word. He gets up quickly after that, turning around and stumbling over his own table. He doesn’t fall, but he hits his knee against the corner of it, a loud groan of complain raging out of his mouth.

 

“Levi?” Erwin calls behind him, seated straight on the couch now.

“I’m okay.” He doesn’t turn around to look at him, he just throws him an apologising sign and runs towards the bathroom, recovering from the accident and the whole night. The last thing he hears is Erwin sighing loudly and then yawning, muttering something about Levi being just oh, so cute. _Idiot._

 

\---

 

They have been sitting on the floor for at least an hour in Erwin’s apartment, also very temptingly close in the wait, without talking at all, both too focused on all the shy, little shared touches, before the rat actually came and fell into the trap. Yes, also loving Levi’s pants and ruining them completely with its scary teeth. Finally, with bated breath, they have been able to pull the string linked to the box and trap the animal inside of it.

 

“Oh my god, I told you I would catch it!” Levi shouts overly excited as he runs toward the box to assure himself they really did catch the rat. _Ah! I got you, you stupid piece of shit!_

 

Erwin immediately follows him equally excited and walks quickly to close the distance between them, staring over at the box, full of pride. “Yeah, you did it.” He grins.

Levi is still jumping on the spot, deeply insulting the rat and cursing joyfully with satisfied victory sparkling in his eyes. Erwin joins him, laughing loudly and sighing happily with utter relief. Levi turns around towards him and actually gives him a high five, which turns out to be slightly awkward, but still right.

 

“Dude, we are like, I don’t know, bloody amazing partners in crime.” Levi states oscillating his body like a little child, his radiant smile never leaving his cute face. “Screw that rat!”.

“Yeah, screw that.” Erwin agrees with him, giving him the same big, dumb smile. He rubs the back of his head scratching it, and then they stand there for a while awkwardly, still smiling, still looking at each other with excited eyes. Levi’s smile begins to drop after a couple of seconds, exhilaration in his eyes turning into a new kind of electricity and hunger. Erwin frowns deeply seeing the tiny man’s expression changing, but then smirks away all of his worry, letting himself being stared at with such trepidation, reciprocating the fired up eyes. Levi hesitates for a moment, biting his bottom lip down seductively, cutting himself off while trying to move forward. Their hearts still bumping loudly inside their chest, adrenaline still pumping in their veins, Levi decides that he doesn’t even care anymore, not when Erwin is in front of him, panting from the hunt and being as inviting as he could ever be.

 

“Oh, screw you.” Levi is on Erwin right away, his will completely overwhelmed by Erwin’s charm. He grasps at the back of Erwin’s head, tugging his hair and pulling him closer. Their lips meet clumsily, roughly. It’s certainly not a sweet gesture, more like a challenge for Levi’s patient as he struggles to even reach Erwin’s mouth and kiss him properly. With blood pumping in his ears, he feels Erwin’s cocky smirk under his desperate touch.

 

“Shut up.” Levi’s voice rumbles in his throat as he melts under him, not really managing to make the big man stop being so full of himself.

“I’m not saying a word.” Erwin purrs, his voice turning deep and provoking, even though his smile doesn’t leave his face, ready to eat Levi alive. It sends a shiver down his spine and makes his head dizzy. Their lips find each other again, Levi sucking into Erwin’s mouth urgently, diving his tongue inside, kissing him hard. While Erwin, despite the evident need he’s been feeling in his stomach for the past hours, still wishes he could have the time to treat Levi with more concern, slowly, the brunette doesn’t care in the most, reaching for him all over, craving Erwin’s touch more than anything else in the world.

 

In the middle of their euphoric kiss Erwin bends over ever so slightly, giving Levi more access into his mouth. He also starts to rub his long fingers against his back, his ass and then to teasingly caress the back of his thighs. He lingers there for a moment, making Levi jolt and his eyes snap open as soon as he closes his hands in a firm grip around them and picks the tiny man up, so easily it makes Levi furious, even though he doesn’t really mind.

 

Levi wraps his legs around Erwin’s waist and his arms around his neck to support himself, never breaking the eye contact as a rousing moan escapes his mouth, their frowned foreheads pressed against each other. Erwin has him pinned up against the nearest wall the next second, Levi groaning and scratching into his skin, as the big man’s still trying to go gentle on him. But trying doesn’t mean succeeding, and all of his efforts turn out to be utterly useless the moment Levi suddenly, greedily arches forward and rocks his hips against his crotch, and when the grip around his neck tightens desperately, while he nips down at Erwin’s bottom lip and pulls their mouth so close they don’t even have enough space to breathe.

 

Erwin loses it, flexing up into Levi’s rough touch, making their hips stroke once more. Levi growls, feels the warmth in his chest spreading wildly as Erwin deepens the kiss, sinking into him passionately. His need becoming insatiable, he breaks the kiss, leaving Erwin so satisfyingly panting, his face flushed with heath and haste, to avidly go for his jaw, his neck, never loosening his grip around him. He leaves a track of wet as he explores every inch of Erwin’s bare, flaming skin, enjoying the intense groan coming from his throat. They kiss each other wildly again, in a thrilled agony, until Levi feels his body growing too heavy. He stops him, their lips barely touching now as they breathe into each other’s air, Levi’s head dizzy and dazed, Erwin’s delicious smell intoxicating him.

 

“Let me down.” Erwin keeps him still, barely hearing him, only pushing his light body farther into the wall, to nestle him closer against his own waist, and making Levi’s head fall against it with a loud thud as he holds him with just one strong arm now, the other hand sliding up to slightly pressure against the base of his neck, cradling his jaw. Levi cries out a lovely, ardent moan, loving the delicate, still predatory fervour coming from the other, but then regains his consciousness.

 

“Erwin, down.” He stares at Erwin with his pupils blown wide, a dangerous spark in them now, reflecting the hunger in the blond’s eyes too, emphasized by the low tone of his voice while saying his name, making him understand he’s not speaking to stop him at all.

“Sorry.” Erwin falsely apologizes as he lets him down, feeling empty and cold as soon as the heath of his tiny, but muscular body leaves him.

“Couch, now.” Erwin’s eyes fly to his big, comfortable sofa, and his lips turns up into an evil, amused smile as he gets what Levi wants. He softly chuckles when he feels himself get forcedly tugged by Levi’s skinny hand, which is unexpectedly strong though, towards the couch.

 

Levi stops in front of it for a second, glaring up at the big blue eyes that are staring at him shamefully, and then surprisingly brings the palm of Erwin’s hand against his lips and kisses it softly. Erwin raises his eyebrows, shocked by the sudden, slow gesture of sweetness.

“You are such an old dumb man.” It doesn’t matter how gentle the kiss might have been, Levi’s dangerous voice sends a warning, tempting shudder down Erwin’s spine, making him narrow his eyes, trying to read Levi’s intentions.

 

It takes him less than a second to push Erwin on the couch and to crash himself over him, sitting astride his thighs, sneering up slyly. He slips his hands over Erwin’s chest and starts zipping his hoodie down, his fingers shaking in excitement. They take a short break from the enthusiasm of before, observing each other, staring and starving for more, but it doesn’t last very long. Erwin slowly rolls his hips against him, mostly out of instinct, making Levi close his eyes, throw his head slightly back, and inhale deeply as he tries not to give in immediately, uselessly.

 

“Oh, fuck, who cares.” He quickly undresses Erwin completely, takes his sweater off in a loud jerk, and then throws it away. He doesn’t have the time to glare at the perfection of his body -or to think about how many times he had fallen asleep imagining this- Erwin too eager with his quick hands under his shirt already, pulling it up and taking it off Levi, awkwardly enough to get him stuck in it. Erwin can’t help but laugh at that, and at a frustrated Levi’s grumbling underneath it.

“Stop it.” Levi huffs from under his shirt, trying to slap Erwin’s helping hands through his half-pulled up sleeves, looking and feeling like a drunk alien trying to hit a big, playful dog. “Jesus, help me and stop laughing.”

“I am so sorry but you are so adorable like this.” Erwin takes a moment to just brush his big hands all over Levi’s body, while he’s still trying to get himself out of his shirt. Levi shivers and twitches under Erwin’s touch, whimpering at the annoying rush of pleasure running through him.

“Adorable like what?” _Fuck, I did it._ He comes out of his shirt, angrily throwing it to the other side of the room.

“Like this.” Erwin points out at his flushed cheeks and messy hair, booping his nose, which doesn’t make Levi happy.

“Shut up already”.

 

Levi seizes him in a deep, fervent kiss, hushing him before he could possibly manage to make whichever stupid comment he’s thinking of, and humming against his mouth. He pushes him down on the couch, with a hand spread against his chest, and starts touching him everywhere, tugging at his hair, digging his nails in, biting and sucking into his exposed skin.

 

“Mmmh” Erwin moans loudly under him, biting down into his lip. Levi comes up, licking all the way from his collarbones to his earlobe. He sucks at it, his tongue swirling agile around it, while he keeps grinding against Erwin, and then he begins to place short, sloppy kisses under and near his ear. 

“Do you have-” Levi asks in between kisses and wet licks, pressing his greedy lips against him.

“Bedroom.” Erwin grunts, rocking his hips, through the fabric of their pants, against him one more time before Levi gets up so quickly Erwin doesn’t even notice, his hands gripping at the void for a moment. He opens his eyes and stares as Levi undresses himself from his pants and underwear while standing upright, clumsily, quickly, and at the same time goes towards the bedroom, running and tumbling over his own dropped clothes. “Fuck” He stumbles and grumbles but then disappears into the room.

 

He comes back into the living room with lube in his hands. “I couldn’t find the cond-”  he then stops abruptly on the spot, shocked and amazed by the sweet, perfect sight in front of him. Erwin has evidently undressed himself too from his remaining clothes in the mean while, and he’s now completely naked, seated on the couch with his big thighs spread open wide, head leant back over the edge of the couch, eyes squeezed close, in complete ecstasy and pleasure. Levi’s heart jumps and then starts bumping quickly when his eyes drop to Erwin’s hand. His long, lovely fingertips wrapped up against his already hard beautiful, remarkable cock, in plain view in front of his keen, grey eyes. Levi stares as the other man moans noisily, whispering Levi’s name hoarsely, in the wait.

 

“Levi. Hurry up.” He follows his hand as it pumps slowly up and down his shaft, irresistibly gleaming with  precome beading at the tip. Levi licks his lips, knees almost buckling. _Holy fuck,_ he thinks, _I am_ seriously _going to marry this man. And his cock. Yes, I want to marry his cock._

Erwin snaps his dark eyes open, hand stopping immediately and moving away to rest gently on his left thigh, leaving his lovely dick exposed for Levi’s happiness, when a bottle hits him on the chest, bouncing off and landing on the couch. Levi’s mouth is dry and open, he wants the same attention the man was giving to himself a few seconds before.

“That thing is huge.” He doesn’t even think it through before opening his mouth to say the most embarrassing thing he could ever say, which has an unexpected effect on the blond, seated man though. Erwin smirks up, and seductively caresses his thigh up and down, amused by the fact that Levi still doesn’t dare moving, but finding himself highly impatient anyway.

 

“I can’t wait.” Levi states, too thirsty for it too care.

“Come here.” Erwin commands, his voice raw, with a pinch of fiery amusement underneath. Levi dies inside a little, biting back a moan, but obeys without needing to be asked twice.

“Yes sir.” Erwin raises his eyebrows and Levi feels weak, excited by the little game of power they have just established.

 

As he approaches the sofa Levi doesn’t even have the time to say anything or to even bend over. Erwin tugs him and pins him down on the couch, too eager to wait for him to make a move, Levi’s back against it and Erwin’s big body shadowing him. He licks his lips, grins and then kisses him fiercely. He shoves his tongue inside his mouth and dives in, swirling it around Levi’s, crashing their lips together with urge. Levi scratches his bare back and plunges his fingers into him, making Erwin arch forward, frantically thrusting his crotch against his own. Feeling their cocks together kills him with joy, he melts under Erwin, as the other man too feels boneless over him. Erwin puts his head over the crook of Levi’s neck kissing and biting his throat, propping himself up just enough not to fall over Levi, still maintaining the contact between their naked, heated bodies. He grasps at Levi’s jaw with one hand, keeping him still as he loses his mind.

 

Levi is on the verge of begging. The rush of it all growing to be too overwhelming for him. He runs a hand through Erwin’s hair, tugging, impatient. _What are we? Bloody teenagers?_ Levi really is impatient, but doesn’t want to stop Erwin either as he grinds their bodies together. But then, oh then Erwin finally moves. His touch moves from his cheeks, where his knuckles barely brush his skin, making his shiver, to his chest and then right to their cocks, surrounding them both with just one big hand, making them stroke together. He moves his hand quickly, covering every part of bare, sensitive skin between them, firing them both up. Erwin is eating Levi up with his eyes, a moan spilling from his parted, swollen lips. The hard touch sends Levi’s mind to heaven, hoping the bliss will never end. He wants to help, to touch, but his hands stay to his head’s sides, fists squeezed tightly.

Erwin naughtily giggles in satisfaction, takes the bottle of lube with his other hand and opens it up with a loud pop. He spreads a lot of the liquid on his fingers and then, having Levi at his complete mercy, rubs a finger just around his hole, waiting for the decisive nod from Levi.

 

He presses one finger into him, slowly, making Levi able to get used to it. Levi groans, squeezing his eyes. It’s not enough, and then Erwin smiles and pushes another one into him, filling Levi with another kind of new, amazing heath and feeling.

“Ah…are those even real fingers?” Levi always so sarcastic even when lightheaded from intense pleasure. He’s painfully hard, looking for any kind of thrust now that Erwin’s hand has left his cock to grab his ass, to pull his hips up off the couch and get a better way in. He presses the third finger into him, diving inside him, stretching him up, and then managing to press right against his prostate, making Levi curse and quiver.

 

“Shit, Erwin.” Levi cries out, feeling the heath in his lap spreading all over him piercingly, his mind seeing stars already. He looks a bit disconnected, not even sure what to focus on anymore, amongst the series of incredible sensations he’s feeling, but Erwin wants his undivided attention. He takes all of his fingers out suddenly, Levi groans angry and snaps his eyes open, watching him with lust and hunger and pain and frustration. Erwin grins, his cock twitching for attention too. But he can wait because seeing Levi like this equals to the realization of one of his most frequent, indecent fantasies.

 

Levi is red in the face, panting, out of breath, wanting and lost, his body sweating disgustingly, pleasantly, against Erwin’s, which makes them just more desperate to pressure into each other.

“You are so pretty.” Erwin comments, making Levi think about their previous conversation with Hanji. _God, he really thinks I’m pretty._ Normally he would have hated it, but how could he hate it when something so sweet, so lovely sounded just so dirty and delicious coming from him, him with his big, darkened, devouring eyes.

 

“Shut up.” He repeats for the third time.

This time he says it differently. He’s not annoyed or angry at him. His voice comes out tasty and soft, still desperate. Erwin’s not touching him on purpose and Levi hates it, but he loves it.

 

“Please.” He finally begs, closing his eyes and arching up into him. He brings a hand up to Erwin’s face, his fingertips twitching and ghosting over his mouth, as he tries to shush him, his thumb lazily rubbing against his lips. Erwin doesn’t think about it twice and takes his finger into his wanting mouth, sucking it hard as he digs his own nails in Levi’s legs, bringing them up, closer to his waist. Levi’s head spins around, heavy-lidded eyes looking at his beautiful, stunning neighbour, with Erwin’s sensually licking his thumb up and down, imitating something he sure would love to be feeling somewhere else. He lets him go, a trace of wet saliva following from Levi’s finger to his half-opened mouth, and licks his lips slowly, just once, before Levi finally takes control in a rush of arousal and adrenaline, and flips him over. Erwin actually resists just slightly and they end up as they were before, Erwin still seated up on the couch with Levi straddling him.

 

“Hello stranger.” Levi smiles evilly sitting on him, stretching up to get into a better position. He quickly grabs the bottle of lube and pours a lot of it in his hand, feeling Erwin’s eyes on him. He withdraws slightly and slides his swamp hand from the bottom to the tip of Erwin’s aching cock. The other man breaks against the lovely friction, Levi sending shivers of pleasure throughout his whole body as he circles his wet head and strokes his little hand against him, so big in comparison.

“Please.” Erwin moans under him, trying to move forward to catch Levi’s lips in his teeth.

 

“Please, what?” Levi doesn’t let him get near him, pushing him against the surface of the couch with a strong jerk, letting his head fall hard back. “Faster.” Erwin begs. _Wow, this is too much._ “And harder.” _Oh my god, is he serious? Fuck._ Levi feels like he could come just from the sound of his voice.

“Who’s eager now?” He mocks him, reminding him of the night before, when they were still just nice neighbours.

“Levi.” Erwin groans, torturing Levi with his deep, bossy voice. As if he was saying to him to get on with it already, warning him. Levi gives up, and gives him what he, what they both want so desperately.

 

Rising on his knees, Levi gives Erwin’s cock the last couple of quick, nice strokes, twisting his hand around it to spread the lube everywhere, and then he places it against his prepared, stretched hole. They both moan loudly at that, Erwin for the pleasure and Levi because he genuinely can’t wait to feel him inside. He sinks into it, slowly adjusting to the burning, incredible feeling that’s filling him up. He cries out silently, crashing his fist against Erwin’s shoulder in appreciated agony.

“Ah- shit, Erwin.”

“You okay?” Erwin asks worried, yearning burning him up. He helps Levi gripping his waist tightly and placing him on his lap in a better position for both of them, stopping and not moving until he sees Levi’s expression relaxing and turning from pain to pure, sweet arousal. “Yes, fucking move.”

 

Erwin obeys right away, and they both start moving, slowly at first and then Levi forces himself down and starts to ride him properly, pressing into him.

“Fuck.” Erwin makes the word slip from his mouth, utterly overwhelmed by the tightness of Levi’s ass.

 

“I know right?” Levi bumps his hands loudly behind him, against the wall, and he wets his lips and crawls over him, eyes locked with his as he rolls his hips and gives the other man a great, hard stroke, which makes Erwin even hungrier for him. He attacks Levi’s neck, now stretched out above him, exposed, as he enjoys the hot feeling spreading through him, and sucks into it, moaning under his lips.

“Er- Erwin.” Levi stutters as Erwin buries himself into him, dunking his desperate fingers in his skin. They set a quick, firm pace between them, which brings them closer and closer to reaching their peak. Every time Erwin magically hits his prostate, Levi lets out a loud, frantic groan. _Jesus Christ, don’t stop._

 

When Erwin brings his drench, hot mouth from his neck to his ear, starting to lick and tease him, Levi loses it. He starts riding him faster and faster, quickly losing the rhythm they had just found, feeling intense heath and pleasure coming right up. He lets Erwin take control of the situation, he lets him take his own cock in his big, dominant hand. Erwin uses his other hand to grip tight at Levi’s waist, starting to move his body up and down, snapping their hips together, with a greedy strength. Their bodies clenched, sweating and moving frantically, it doesn’t take long for Levi to hit the point of no return.

 

He comes loudly, moaning and nipping down his bottom lip hard enough to make it slightly bleed, biting back his evident scream. A wave of sudden bliss rushes through him, making him twitch against Erwin’s blessed fingers, his body basically on fire. He bows his head forward, clashing his forehead with Erwin’s, as he spurts his come out, all over his stomach. He keeps moving through his orgasm, followed by Erwin right away. The blond man can’t help but shatter under him, dissolving into pleasure with blood pulsing quickly into his veins, as Levi clasps his little ass around his throbbing dick as he comes. They finish together, Levi’s vision fading to black for a second. They both go tense, holding into each other for dear life, and then Levi completely crashes over him, sweaty, tired, consumed to the bone. Erwin greeting him in his now weak arms, letting him rest as he too catches his breath back.

 

A loud squeak breaks the silence between them, the rat bringing them back to earth.

“Have I ever told you how much I love go mouse hunting?” Levi puffs pleased, relaxed, his head turned over Erwin’s broad chest. Erwin smiles widely, eyes closed, and he pats his head kindly, cuddling him up and playing with his damp hair. They are completely exhausted.  

“I think we already have something in common then.” Erwin jokes lightly.

“I don’t think that is going to get you into my pants, though.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I have other methods, just in case.” Levi raises his eyebrows and grins as he listens to Erwin’s reply and to his lovely, happy hums after that. _How did this even happen?_

 

“Yo! Erwin, I’m home. Where ar-” A high-pitched, feminine voice echoes in the room. Hanji is in the middle of the room, looking down at them, evidently not that surprised and awfully amused.

“Oh hello there!” Levi grunts, looking at her, not even bothering to move or change position, stopping the other man from doing so too. Erwin palms his face, saying a muttered hello in response.

“You must be Levi!” She almost shouts excited. Then hesitates. “At least I hope so. Erwin, is it him?”

“Of course it’s me.” Levi snaps annoyed, but with a weird, friendly smile spread on his face.

“Uh, touchy.” She giggles.

“Who else should it be?”

“I don’t know. But our Erwin here is not really that exclusive, you know.”

“He is now.” Levi establishes, enjoying the mild quarrel he’s having with Hanji.

 

“You know I’m still here.” Erwin speaks, not so amused as them. _Who could know you’re actually so shy. Ah, cute._ “And I would like to point out how Levi and I are still blatantly naked. Hanji.” He’s not really shy, just still a bit mad at her after how she made him feel slightly humiliated in front of Levi, even though that turned out just fine, eventually. More than fine.

 

Levi feels like he owes her though, and helps her out.

“You are such a prude old man.” He says as he moves his head to look up at him, chin leant on his chest. “Besides, there’s no need to get angry at her. I told you how much I love chasing wild animals now.” He raises his eyebrows, teasing him. And her.

 

“Yeah, listen to him.” Hanji laughs her way in, towards the box where she figures her rat is. “So, you did it in the end. Such good boys.”

“Yeah.” Erwin sighs out, and lets his anger drop, knowing he could never really stay mad at her.

“Hanji?” Levi calls out, still looking at Erwin with a cheeky stare, piercing through his blue eyes.

“Yes, dear?” She replies, busy with her precious animal.

“I think we are going to be great friends.”

 

Levi places his head against Erwin’s chest once more, feeling him breathing in and out quietly, enjoying the warmth coming from it. He looks over at her and smiles naughtily, but still, sweetly. He silently thanks her for having brought the rat to Erwin’s house and for all the following, great events, which never would have happened without the careless accident she had caused, apparently not on purpose. Levi knows he has to be grateful, and suddenly feels a wave of harmony and understanding between them.

 

“Oh, I know sweetie.” She winks at him, making them both screaming like little girls again, as she literally throws the captured, possessed animal at them, laughing maniacally. “Such great friends!”

 

“AH! Hanji! What the fuck?!”


End file.
